Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
