we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
