My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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