I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
