I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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