My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
