if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
