I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
