dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize