so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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