on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
