haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
