when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think I died a long time ago.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
