i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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