yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
