don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
