you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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