My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You pole danced in your parka.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
