NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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