Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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