Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
