So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
