Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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