Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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