Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
