RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize