Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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