i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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