i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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