is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
