I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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