franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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