yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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