He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize