She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm always down for nudity.
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