Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
