new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
