Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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