Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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