are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
