even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize