Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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