So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
