Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
