I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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