how can u be prego again
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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