Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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