a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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