I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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