it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
