I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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