I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im six kinds of drunk right now
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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