It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Someone shattered a urinal.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
