If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
operation have a gay friend backfired
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you inspire me to be a worse person
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
