I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
