i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
