Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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