So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm determined to sit on that face.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
