I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
