now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
soo... how was my night?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
