i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
