who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize