I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
