Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
