About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
