I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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