My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
