my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
