tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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