Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
